Do you feel hopeless in your marriage or with your spouse? Do you have a Hopeless Husband or a Hopeless Wife? If so, this post is for you!
A lot of people read the Family and Relationship posts here at TheWayItCouldBe.com and think I must have the perfect marriage and be the perfect husband. On the contrary, we have come a long way and I am FAR from perfect(an interview with Macy).
Once, I sort of felt like a Hopeless Husband. When my amazing wife Macy and I first got married eight years ago, I’d come home in the evenings and sort of go comatose in the recliner. I was working super long hours and spent about half of my work day on the phone. By the time I got home, I had used up all my words! My poor wife was ready to talk when I walked in the door. Often she seemed devastated that I wasn’t ready to engage when I got home.
In the midst of her frustration, I think she began to learn how to make a difference in my life. If you are in a similar place in your family, here are some thoughts for you:
1. Make the decision to persevere. No one ever said commitment was easy. No one ever promised that you wouldn’t be stretched. Newt Gingrich once said, “Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of the hard work you already did.” Smoke on that for awhile. Decide that you will persist.
2. Kick discouragement in the teeth. Don’t give into discouragement. This is a choice you have. Don’t go there. Fight back and don’t be discouraged. Take a stand for your marriage!
3. Speak life into your spouse. They need for you to believe in them even if they don’t believe in themselves. Speak words of life into them. Write them notes. Try not to belittle them. They need your respect. They need you to be patient.
4. Pray for your spouse. You don’t have what they need. Seriously. That will take the pressure off right there. Pray. Pray. Pray. You can’t change them. Prayer can.
5. Celebrate even the smallest victories. Eventually, you’ll notice small victories and change. Celebrate like crazy! Brag on your spouse. Instead of dwelling on their shortcomings, celebrate the things that you love about them. Thank them for what you see in them.
Before long, you will see more change. Be patient. Be loving. My wife has made more of a difference in my life than anyone I know. I believe God has used her in a variety of ways to take me from a Hopeless Husband into the man I am today (Still not perfect though). If you know any Hopeless Husbands or Wives out there, don’t lose hope. Choose to persevere, don’t get discouraged, speak life into them, pray for them, and then celebrate even the smallest change!
Thoughts? Let’s hear them in the comments.
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