Several years ago, I was super guilty of coming up with great ideas, but always seemed to be frustrated when they were not accepted by others. I thought they were GREAT ideas, but they often seemed to fall on deaf ears. I talk to young leaders, pastors, husbands and fathers all the time that run into the same challenges.  For those of you with those “golden ticket” ideas, here are 3 Reasons Your Ideas Aren’t Being Accepted:

They are your ideas. Work them into the conversation and allow people time to process and think. Allow them to be their ideas, not just yours. When the idea is their idea, it will be much more likely to grow legs and walk. Ask questions more than your offer solutions.

Your timing is off. When presenting new ideas, make sure the timing is right. Get buy in from the right people at the right time. Developing trust takes time, so make sure the timing is right.

Start small, go BIG. Instead of presenting three or four things to think about, present one. Better yet, ask a question instead of offering a solution. You’ll get that ownership you are looking for. Start with a small concept, and let it go BIG!

What are other reasons good ideas aren’t accepted?  Love to hear your thoughts!

I have a lot of people ask me why I’m always using Facebook and Twitter throughout the week.  It may look random (like this post- Mustachio), but it is actually very intentional on my behalf.  Through the use of certain tools, I am not even online all the time, it just appears that way sometimes.  We all have different options as to how we decide to use social media avenues such as Facebook, Twitter & blogs.  Here is why I choose to use these social media tools and why you should too.  10 Reasons FB & Twitter Aren’t Random 4 Me! 

Influence. Through the use of Facebook, Twitter and blogging, we are able to influence more people than we would ever be able to influence otherwise.  Time and location are out of the picture as we build trust and rapport with followers around the world.   This trust we develop over time allows for a significant increase in influence.

Go where people are.  I repeat: go where people are, not just where you are.  News and advertising firms no longer wait on people to come to them, those days are virtually over.  News and trends are delivered right where people are through social media.  Social media allows us to follow suit to meet people where they are on Facebook or Twitter and connect on their terms. 

Makes you a better communicator.  Being forced to say something in 140 characters or less makes you think carefully about what you value and what you want to say.  Social Media makes you a better, more efficient communicator.  For a great read on this topic, check out 8 Ways Twitter Can Improve Your Communication Skills.

Help people. I am so, so far from perfect, but I do like really to help people.  Social media gives us a way help people in different parts of the world.  140 character thoughts, blog writings, pictures, videos- all of these are opportunities to help someone.  Use social media to help others!

Build relationships.  Social media is obviously not social without interaction with others and wothout relationships.  We are able to initiate and develop lots of great relationships through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter.  I have personally developed what I would consider significant relationships through social media.  One word to remember…relationships.

Create awareness. Everyone has a passion, and everyone has a voice.  Some voices reach a few, others reach the thousands. Regardless of your reach, you can always create awareness!  Identify your passion, and create awareness.  Do it.  Do it (Ben Stiller voice in Starsky & Hutch).   

Grow as a leader.  Through following other leaders and influencers, social media allows us to get inside the brains and lives of those who are thought leaders and/or good mentors.  These individuals can push you, influence you, and even mentor you from afar.  Check out The 2010 Mentor: How to Find One and How to Become One.

Stay educated & relevant. How do you know what is on the minds of the masses?   What are they talking about?  Where are people personally, emotionally, spiritually?  Social media allows insight into all of these things as you educate yourself and stay relevant to what is going on in the world.  Whether you use social media for personal or organizational reasons, you need to stay on top of what people are talking about.  One of the best ways to stay educated and relevant is through social media.

Model the life. Social media allows us to show the world what we believe, not just talk about it.  Why just talk about fatherhood, when you can let people in your home to see for themselves?  Why just talk about leadership when you can demonstrate it through a conversation online?  Model the life and model it online by using social media.

Identify your calling.  The Number 1 reason Facebook and Twitter are not always random for me is because I have taken time and energy to identify and clarify my personal calling in life.  You should do this too, if you haven’t already.  Here are some thoughts for you on identifying your calling in life.

Why do you use Facebook, Twitter, blogs or other social media sites?  We would honestly love to learn; please share in the comments below!

It sort of goes without saying these days that social media avenues such as Twitter (and Facebook) allow for serious innovation. Twitter lends itself to instant global conversations, sometimes with a few and sometimes with thousands (just watch Twitter Trending Topics for 1o minutes).  With all this innovation today, who would have thought that we could be mirroring some characteristics of an ancient civilization?    What civilization am I referring to?  None other than….the 1st Century Church (yeah 2000 years ago).  “Whaa? You say.”  Yeah.  Don’t believe me?  Check out a few verses from a section in the book of Acts, which most scholars believe was written around 62 AD (right before the fall of Rome in 64).  Here is The 1st Century Church….And Twitter!

They devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles. Acts 2:42
Today, we see people sharing biblical truths via Twitter and Facebook.  Some of them are outright Scripture (like from King James, one of 13 Twitter Types).  Others are thoughts or quotes that have both intended and unintended Scriptural elements in them (like 20 Tweetable Truths).  Still other Tweets and FB updates tell stories or share experiences that show a person’s devotion to the Scriptures.  In the area of sharing Scripture, it’s crazy to see the similarity of the 1st Century Church and Social Media.

They devoted themselves to prayer. Acts 2:42
Several weeks ago on Twitter, a guy named John asked me to pray for him as he was looking for a job and at a big time low.  I sent out a tweet that said, “Who will pray with me for my friend John who is looking for a job and needs encouragement?”  Within a couple of hours, I had over a dozen people commit for one week to pray for John’s spirits to be lifted and for a job.  Barely a week later, a position with incredible influence opened up for him in the most random of places.  Coincidence?  Maybe. I believe, however, that those prayers shared through Twitter were answered and John is different as a result of his faith to ask for prayer.

They met together in one place. Acts 2:44
I realize that in this context, the verse meant one physical place, but this was the culture of the first century AD.  People lived in close proximity with one another and rarely traveled or communicated abroad.  Now, most of us are all spread out yet still have the ability to “meet in one place,” especially with social media tools like Twitter.  In the same way that Roman roads made it possible for the gospel message of Jesus to be quickly spread, Twitter allows us to “meet in one place” while being in a million different places.

They had everything in common. Acts 2:44
Another version translates this verse, “They shared everything they had.”  I’m no Bible scholar (I’m actually a cemetery, I mean seminary drop out, ha)  and I’m not trying to take the verse out of its context.  I do gather here though and throughout the Scriptures that the 1st Century Church shared everything with one another.  Today, we see some of the most influential people in the world sharing everything about their day and lives on Twitter.  People on Twitter have everything in common with one another like never before !

They sold their possessions and shared the money with those in need. Acts 2:45
In the last month, I have personally witnessed the following take place through posts on Twitter and/or Facebook: a family on the streets was provided clothes, food and shelter by eight different people (How Twitter Helped Save a 3rd Grade Girl), twelve different meals were provided for sick people, people showed up to serve food and supplies to 200 refugees.  Uh….wow.

I’m not suggesting that Social Media is a replacement for being a part of a church. I am, however, suggesting that much of what we see through social media resembles much of what we know of the 1st century church: a people that shared scriptures with one another, prayed for one another, met together in one place, shared their lives together and helped one another when in need.

Could it be that we are not much unlike this group of people that lived nearly 2000 years ago?  Could it be that there exists in the Twitterverse and in culture an instinctive desire to be something that in some way resembles what the church was in its infancy, what the church today is really supposed to be all about?  What do you think? We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments…

A lot of people have been asking how our youngest girl Molly is doing, so I decided to post this pic. I talk a lot with her and the other day, she looked at me, put her hand on my face, and said these first two words, “Hi Dada.” The last weeks, she will wake up in the morning and we will here the same words from her room in the softest voice imaginable, “Hi Dada.”

I can’t explain the joy of a father to hear his child call out his name for the first time, even if she doesn’t know what she is talking about! I can’t help but think about how much joy God must have when we utter his name and simply say “Hi.” If you’ve never uttered his name, you should try it…

What do you think God must think when we speak his name? The Bible is filled with names for God, by what name do you call him?

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, leadership and other stuff. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad

Recently I asked this question online: _______ take(s) away “man” points. Thx, Ur answer will B a blog post. Ready, set, have fun, go!

Below are the responses, hope you enjoy and please add to the list!  Thanks to the ladies and gents that participated; your responses were all good (both the serious and humorous)!  My favorite was MichaelDPerkins (check his Blog), who said, “Counting down the days until the next Meg Ryan movie… takes away man points.”

Michael, Meg Ryan’s next movie is supposed to be Sleepless Beauty with Ashley Tisdale and will be released in approximately 327 days (2011).  I also liked Gina Fuller’s which said, “not being a man of God.” It’s so easy to care what other people think about us, rather than what our Creator thinks!

Here are some posts that will actually increase your man points: The Dad Life, 6 Things That Scare Expecting Dad’s, A Man’s Ultimate Contribution, 50 Things a Real Man Does & Satan’s Sex Ed.

Here are 50 Things That Take Away Man Points:

Facebook
April Griffith Ryan Over accessorizing!!
Sandy Collum Sandmeyer Having a hissy fit (ranting)…
Amanda Adams Dugger Not paying child support…take responsibility and be a man……maybe, not what you were looking for? But that’s what I think of
Lacie Nichols Ramos whining
Miguel Nava Not taking the time to tell she’s your everything and that you love her
Stephanie Hennessy I can think of lots… but, will leave room for others to share!
Unemployment(by choice), pants on the ground!, cursing, and of course carrying a man purse!
Rachel Buchanan Adams Profanity and putting those degrading window stickers or bumper stickers on your ridiculously jacked-up truck…all of that screams insecurity.
Tina Marie Cook Singing show tunes. lol
Gina Gardner Ward Fuller porn, not supporting the family, being negative, not being a man of God
Karen King Bruce manicures (especially the mani/pedi combo!)
Paige Hudson Garcia Whining
Michael David Lea Shaving your back and/or chest.
Shelley R. Smith shaving your legs. unless you are an olympic competitor…
Bethany Christensen Penny loafers.
Debi Ray Stringer scarves …
John C. Richardson Rollerblades.
Julia Kammerdiener Ekpo paying some one to change your oil or your tires because you don’t know how!
Julia Kammerdiener Ekpo Frontin! (That’s from Lloyd)
Molly Smith Entrekin Not holding your kid(s) in public.
Karen King Bruce Disrespecting women & coarse language.  I know guys may think it’s “macho” but its not Godly nor manly.

Twitter
LaureeAshcom want funny or serious answers? making fun of your wife takes away “man” points.
cvii1216 Dishonesty takes away man points CvÌI♥♥
Yochanan buying “feminine” products for your wife/girlfriend
Liz227 talking about the twilight series in knowledgeable detail
kellilw farting in bed!
CrystalSPayne watching a “chic flick” without your wife/girlfriend
MichaelDPerkins Counting down the days until Meg Ryan comes out with a new movie
kryten50 nt getng hotest wings
Liz227 saying “OMG girlfriend” and your straight
wetfishdesigns Hairy Back
StevenPatton failure to take care of your children takes away man points
StevenPatton skinny jeans and scarves take away man points
StevenPatton “zima” takes away man points
stevenPatton “twilight” takes away man points.
Mrs_Larabee Wearing a sleeveless shirt take(s) away “man” points.   Ha, ha- referral to this? Should Dudes Wear Sleeveless Shirts? - Chad
Mrs_Larabee Taking longer than your wife to get ready, take(s) away “man” points.
randpyr Your man bag.  Randy, it’s not mine- someone left it at my house!  haha- I really don’t have one. -Chad
airjomax21 wearing pink
cassie_d_ape Owning a Labradoodle. Walking it in public is even worse!

Okay, please add to the list in the comments below! For the record, I bought my first scarf last winter…seriously. I asked the guy at the store where their scarves were and he says, “Like, for guys?” Ha.

New to TheWayItCouldBe.com? Welcome!  This site was started to promote cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include creativity, family, faith, culture, social media and leadership.  Feel free to browse around by category (Here is a tour of the Missildine home in Fort Worth).  If you dig this site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right.  Thanks for stopping by!  Chad

Here are 7 Ways We Cheat on the Church. Maybe you can relate…

Our hearts are divided between God and the world. The heart is usually an indicator. The Scriptures point to disloyalty as born from a divided heart. James 4:8-9 When we are dating the world, baby we are cheating on the Church!

We don’t allow our gifts to be used. Instead, we use all our personal gifts only for our own personal benefit. Ephesians talks about us (the Church), being built together, “to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” Eph. 2:22. When we don’t share our lives and our gifts, its like a builder taking key building materials out of a home- the result is an incomplete house! We are like a delivery truck that keeps driving by with the right materials, but won’t pull over and drop them off!

We Don’t submit to any type of authority, particularly the authority of the Scriptures. We do what we want, when we want and how we want. If there is something we don’t like, we’re out! Even though Christ put himself under authority, we are unwilling to do the same.

We Have a “ME” mentality… It is all about our comfort, our opinions, our agenda and our happiness. Me. Me. Me. This is called pride, and if this is a struggle for you,  read this.

We place the church at a low priority in our lives. A lot of times (not every time) this happens as a result of God being a low priority. Paul said this, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” In “giving himself up,” he meant Jesus’ cruel death on a cross, because he loved us, the church, so much. The Church was such a priority for Jesus, he gave himself up for her!  (The church being a low priority, doesn’t always mean God is a low priority. Often it means we’ve been burnt by the church and have yet to build up enough courage to give it another go).

We don’t place ourselves in any time of close relationship with other believers. This way we don’t have to really live out what I say we believe. There is no accountability and no fuss! This is what I call Lone Ranger Christianity…

We don’t recognize the church as Christ’s living and active body here on earth. We ignore Christ’s reminder when he said, “it is better that I go away, for if I don’t the Spirit will not come to you…” John 16:7 In other words, he meant, “through you (the Church), my living and active body here on earth, I am going to do even greater things than when I walked the earth nearly 2,000 years ago! Even Paul reminds us of a similar concept when he said this, “And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Eph 1:22-23

How else can we cheat on the Church? Thoughts? Love to hear them in the comments…

Every writer knows what it’s like to sit and stare at a blank screen. It’s called writer’s block- when your anxious little fingers are ready to write or type, but your stubborn ole mind is not ready to join the party. Here are a few ways to get the party going again, 7 Ways to Kick Writer’s Block in the Face:

1. Keep a running “bank” of ideas somewhere close. Whenever you have a fresh idea, write it down. I simply jot them down on my iPhone note pad, and will typically have 10-20 ideas in the pipeline when I draw a blank. You’ll identify the bad ideas when you look at them the 2nd time & save yourself from publishing something you’re not proud of. The good ideas will get even better as you take time to flesh out concepts before publishing. Keep your “bank” full!

2. Don’t be an over blogger. Pick a certain numbers of days per week and make sure to take time off from writing. I promise the earth will still spin & the trees will still bloom. Creating balance is also good practice for other areas of your life!

3. Read. I know that sounds elementary, but it’s a big one. Other than staying informed and stimulating your big ole brain, reading frequently is a great way to keep the ideas coming in. Read blogs, magazines, new sites, scripture, books. I’ll read anything I can get my hands on and can’t think of a better tip for generating blog content. Read. Read. Did I mention read?

4. Identify your passions & write from those passions. Writers that really tap into their core passions are often the ones that generate the freshest, most engaging content. Don’t try to be someone you aren’t. Be who you were created to be and allow your writing to be and extension of your unique self. Take time to clarify what you are most passionate about. Then write about it!

5. Identify a common problem and offer a solution (Hmmm, a lot of people  I know have trouble with writer’s block. Maybe I should write a post on that… Done!) Listen to what people are dealing with and talking about, then help them solve a problem.

6. Get out and do stuff. Being stuck behind a computer is enough to drive anyone nuts. Get out and engage in life. Hang out with friends or neighbors. Go see a movie. Start up a hobby. Get out and engage in the world- it’s full of amazing people and places. Live an abnormal life, then just write about. I’ll bet people will want to read about it!

7. Write about something that is a HUGE challenge for you. Approach the issue with humility. Then, tackle it head on like a crazy NFL linebacker! Some of my most well received posts have been issues I was dealing with at the time. People appreciate your openness and honesty. Often your fervor to confront that challenge will result in writing that jumps off the page for the reader.

The family unit is pretty important. Foundational really. However, life gets busy and it is tough to prioritize relationships in our families.

Disregard the family early on and you run into all sorts of problems later. Dads leave their family and kids suffer for years to come.  Relationships within the family unit set up a standard for all future relationships. Where there is trust in the family, trust rules later in life in future relationships. Where there is honesty in the family, character builds and rules later in life.

The family is foundational!

What are some practical ways we can prioritize our families and their relationships? We would love to hear your thoughts!

Rewind: I get chased by dogs a lot while running. I guess I look like an easy target. The other day, I was running and came up on 6 people chasing a dog.  I decided to jump in on the action.  It helped that I had space in my day and was open to seeing an opportunity.  Most days I would have been in a hurry.  This day I wasn’t.

margin- the blank space that surrounds the text on a page; “He jotted a note in the margin.” This definition begs the question, Is there blank space on your page?  Do you have margin?  Or is the page so full there is no room for anything else?

Apparently my dog voice sounds like a young school girl… Here’s the vid (It’s a little rough, but hey, I was chasing a dog):

So do you have margin in your life?  Why is it so tough for us to slow down and take advantage of opportunities for others?

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, leadership and other stuff. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad

My new boots. A great friend gave them to me. Yeah I’m from Texas. Like em?

Who likes em? I think they would look good with these.

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, leadership and other stuff. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad