I was climbing up in our tree above our tree house and decided to jump out. Meg and I were playing and it seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. I guess this is proof that I am too old to be climbing in trees!

What is something stupid you have done that has served as proof that you are getting too old??

Following Jesus- It’s just that easy. Or is it? Is following Jesus easy? Should it be? Is it tough? Do you agree with the words on this shirt that we see around from time to time?

Love to hear your thoughts!

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, leadership and other stuff. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad

I’m no church growth guru with a magic wand. My last name isn’t Chan, nor does it rhyme with Schmatterson (I love you Mark Batterson). I’m an Associate Pastor at a LifeChurch.tv campus in the state closest to what heaven will be like (Yes Texas. Uh…go Rangers). I’m a SIMPLE dude serving a BIG God with a SOLD OUT group of people that are passionate about seeing their city changed (hear some stories from a recent message on reaching out into the community).

Ok, so enough about not having all the answers and not being omnipotent. Here are 4 Reasons Your Church Isn’t Growing Like It Should Be:

1. You don’t know your sweet spot. You aren’t the church down the road. You aren’t Saddleback or New Spring. You are _____ (fill in the blank). God has called you, Pastor A, to lead Church B and Leaders C, D, E and P, to influence Community Z. You have a set of strengths or gifts and so do all the key leaders and everyone else in your organization. God has given your church a specific calling, a sweet spot. Question is, have you really tapped into it? Figure out your sweet spot. Get in your zone. Clarify your calling. Then go and do your thang like no one else! Once you get in this zone, you can say NO to the softball league you loathe, NO to the fruitcake baking ministry you are average at, and YES to whatever is it the good Lord has created you to do.

Tip: As you begin to clarify & develop your sweet spot, don’t just write it out on Saturday and tell everyone what it is on Sunday. Develop a shared vision that everyone can own and go after it!

2. You are not personally inviting people. Seriously, you are one of the key leaders in your church. If you are not living, breathing and (dare I say….no I won’t say it, but it rhymes with hooping) inviting people, the rest of your crew isn’t going to invite people either. People are smart and they know when you aren’t smoking what you are selling! I try to invite someone to my church every single day. I know that sounds crazy, but I promise I’m not annoying about it. I don’t do it every day, but I am genuinely interested in the people that I engage with in the community. I’m aware of their need for other people and more importantly their need for a God that is nuts about them, regardless of their messed up lives! Every day I am looking for the hurting, the messed over, and the broken. I don’t always invite every single person to church, but I’m trying and I’m praying for change in the community. I believe this- if the ones I invite will just come check it out, their lives could be drastically changed forever! Do you believe the same about your church? What will it take to get you there and get you inviting people??

Tip: I carry invite cards everywhere I go- in my car, in my borderline girly man bag satchel, everywhere. I always have a story to retell about how scared I was to invite this guy or how nervous I was to talk to that couple. I’m pretty sure people from my church hear about the stories and are challenged to do the same thing. Heck, even if they don’t, I’m inviting a lot of people!

3. You aren’t ready for the growth. Deep down, you know that because you aren’t yet in your sweet spot (reminder: by this I mean that your church doesn’t know what it is uniquely positioned, called and expected by God to BE and DO), you really aren’t ready to see the real growth you know you should be seeing. It’s like in the eighties when people put patches on blue jean jackets. How silly would it be to put the best patches on a jacket that doesn’t even fit (especially if it was a Beastie Boys patch)?? Yeah, that would be silly!  In the same way that you wouldn’t put cool patches on your 80′s jacket, you can grow if your church isn’t ready for growth! You’ve got to know who you are as an organization AND be comfortable in your own skin. Side note- I think the 80s reference is a bad example, but I couldn’t resist!

A better example would be the parable of the talents (Matthew 25). Simply put, the faithful servants were given more! Pretty simple, right? I know this isn’t exclusively a church growth principle, but I’d put money that the truth applies here. Why would God give you more people if your church isn’t being faithful with the ones you have? Why would God send a HUGE influx of new people if you are hoarding everything to yourself as a leader and not empowering able and called people, other than yourself to minister, lead, guide and develop others? Just think on that for a moment. Marinate on it even… then go get ready to grow!

Tip: I’m not suggesting that just because you aren’t growing doesn’t mean you haven’t been faithful. I don’t know your situation and don’t know your heart. I would challenge you to ask, “Are people at your church ready for the growth or is it still just about them?” If people still think it is all about them, you are in for a long, uphill battle. Sometimes you need to separate the men from the boys before you kick everyone’s rears into gear (go back and study Gideon in Judges). Develop the right people, get the right vision, get it inside of you and go for it!

4. People don’t have clear “Next Steps” to take. The buzz of your cool (or not so cool) band will wear off after awhile. People need a place to belong and they need to know what is a good Next Step for their life as a follower of Christ. New believers need clear Next Steps. People that have gifts to use need clear Next Steps to know how to use those gifts. Those that are leaders need to know how to be empowered and released to lead others. Those that don’t have healthy relationships with other believers need to know how to find those relationships.

Next Steps don’t have to be programs. They don’t have to be a 1, 2, 3 ministry. However, they do need to be simple and intuitive. If someone has to jump through 18 hoops to get in a small group, they are probably going to give up after hoop number 5 or 6. Make it clear, make it simple. Everyone has a place in the body of Christ!

Tip: Challenge EVERYONE to take a Next Step in their faith. For some, it may be as simple as picking up a Bible. For others, it may be restoring a broken relationship. If ALL people are not always taking some type of Next Step in their faith life, it is highly unlikely that they will continue to be a sold out, kingdom building, church growing, follower of Christ!

What are the most common personal challenges for church leaders when their church just isn’t growing the way it should be? Love to hear you thoughts in the comments below!

I had the opportunity this spring to “team teach” at LifeChurch.tv Fort Worth with our awesome Senior Pastor Craig Groeschel and over 100 Pastors from around the world for Week 5 of Who Do You Think You Are? Several of you heard about it after the fact and have been asking if I had a copy of my portion of the message, so here you go! The message is all about reaching out in the community to meet needs, heal hurts and doing a whole bunch of things that don’t fit neatly on a page! The message starts out with an intro from Craig, a personal intro from myself, stories from LifeChurch.tv Fort Worth, Sermon points from Craig and personal stories from my life growing up, including when I truly become a follower of Jesus.

Working at LifeChurch.tv has been one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences of my life and I hope to be around for a long time! Thankfully (for myself and everyone else), I don’t preach frequently (except this other time). However, this was a fun experience on a topic that I am particularly passionate about. I work with some incredible leaders on what I think is the best campus team at LifeChurch.tv (I’m not biased or anything)!

Man, if you like singing, you gotta watch this!

A lot of TheWayItCouldBe.com readers want to know more about my family and ask questions a lot about my amazing wife Macy and what she does. Curious people, this post is for you! She is beautiful, way smarter than me (doesn’t say much) and she will kick your tail. I’m serious. She is a Cooper Certified Personal Trainer and today I’m giving away a free boot camp to my wife’s Camp Gladiator in Fort Worth, Texas ($170 is the normal price for the first month, followed by $69-$100/month after the first month). Details below! It was recently voted the best fitness program by D Magazine and WFAA. Here is a brand new video that will fire you up about fitness…

CG Promo from campGladiator on Vimeo.

Ok, to win the free camp, here’s are a few rules:

1. Make sure you are available for the 4 week period to go to some boot camps in south Fort Worth at 5:30am, 9:30am or 6:15pm. All sessions are one hour long and most people will do 3-4 sessions per week. You will also be able to hit up 65+ other camps in the DFW area for free, viewable HERE.
2. The free camp is not transferable to someone else and needs to be redeemed by Monday, April 25th. The offer is only valid for new campers.

Ok, to win a camp, do this:

1. Comment below and let us know if you’d like to be considered for the free camp, what time would work best for you and why you are ready to check it out in Fort Worth next week!
2. Share this post on Facebook and/or Twitter: I just entered to win a free month at the best boot camp in DFW! from @chadmissildine http://bit.ly/DFWBCamp

We will randomly pick a winner from the comments early this week and contact you by email to let you know if you won. Ready, set, comment below!

More about campGladiator? Here is what Macy says… campGladiator is not a gym.. it’s not a fitness class or a running club. The only word that does justice to what we are is a “movement”.  A wave of positive energy that sweeps through a community, causing people to reconnect to who they used to be… who they were meant to be. A human being created to be part of the world around them. To be outside in the elements… running, jumping, crawling, sweating, competing, & believing… To be around other like minded individuals, working together to accomplish something for yourself. To be challenged.. the kind of challenge that comes from inside you. That place that wonders just how far you can go if you’d only let go. To be fearless. Realizing that the only true failure is not trying. campGladiator has a place because we reignite the flame that already burns within you. Dimmed from years of neglect, but still burning. Unleash the fire… join the movement…become a Gladiator…

Here at TheWayItCouldBe.com, we like to talk share conversation! We chat about good and bad coffee, whether or not dudes should wear sleeveless shirts, whether or not you are addicted to Twitter, things that take away man points and what women really want from guys! The topic of discussion on this post is… Headphones At Work.

Lot’s of conversation with my team at LifeChurch.tv Fort Worth lately about headphones in the workplace. We don’t really have offices and work via mobile work spaces in our church lobby or at local Starbucks or other coffee shops. On a team of seven people, there is a good chance any of us at a given moment will be working with headphones on!

Headphones seem to be the cat’s meow these days, as they help many workers our age to zone in on work, especially when video or audio communication is a part of what you do each day.  Jump into a plane, a bus, a coffee shop, a school or just about any where in public and you will see headphones everywhere.  Unless you’ve been living on Mars for the past couple of years, you are likely to have noticed the same thing! (By the way, if you have been living on Mars, I’ll bet you used some headphones while you were up there. LOL.)

Pro’s for headphones in the workplace:
1. The big ones can make you look like a rapper (Pro, if that is the look you are going for).
2. Minimize distractions in a public setting
3. People just work in different types of settings now, get used to it!
4. Music sites like Pandora or white noise are often free and helps you concentrate on your work
5. They are necessary for those that need to watch video or work with/mix audio
7. You can ignore certain people if you want, “Sorry man, I didn’t hear you,” while pointing to the headphones. I would never do this…

Cons for headphones in the workplace:
1. The “I Don’t Give a Rip About You” statement they make to others.
2. People can’t talk to you, which can be important sometimes at work.
3. The big ones can make you look like a rapper (Con, if that is NOT the look you are going for).
4. If you are going for the rapper look, you’ve got to get the clock necklace like Flavor Flav, and we know those aren’t cheap. I ain’t scared! haah
5. The big ones can give you a headache, which is more distracting than anything.
6. Good headphones aren’t cheap. If you are rapper Charles Hamilton(above), this probably isn’t a big deal.

Question 1: Ok, so are you for (pro) or against (con) headphones in the workplace or are you a hybrid of the two?

Question 2: What are your favorite headphones? I need some new ones that are affordable and quality!

Ready, go!

Words. You may not think yours are that important, that helpful. They are. Maybe you are have a small blog with 5 readers. Maybe you are have 10 followers on Twitter. Maybe you think you don’t have much influence. You do. You have a voice. You have a vision. You have something that can changes the lives of others. You do. You have The Power of Words. Check out this 2 minute video:

Question: Why do we sometimes think our words aren’t very important? LOVE to hear your feedback.

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, leadership and other stuff. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad

Re-post: I’ve never lost a spouse before, but I’ve learned by experience that it only takes about 10 days to emotionally “lose” your spouse. I’ve looked up and totally neglected my beautiful wife for a few days only to discover that we have drifted apart in a short period of time. I’ve also known people that have actually lost a spouse in 10 days due to a few bad decisions. Here is what it could look like to “lose” your spouse emotionally (or actually lose them), How To Lose a Spouse In 10 Days:

Day 1 (Monday)- Work, work, work. Work late and work hard. Use up all your energy at work so you have nothing left when you get home.

Day 2 (Tuesday)- Talk, talk, talk. Don’t stop and listen, I mean really listen to the heart of your spouse. Pay little attention to what they are dealing with, thinking, dreaming about.

Day 3 (Wednesday)- Do nothing physically. Let your body and mind slowly become…nothingness.

Day 4 (Thursday)- Flirt. Flirt & Fantasize with or about someone other than your spouse.  This will get you there in a few days, particularly when it leads to more than just flirting or fantasizing.

Day 5 (Friday)- Don’t make the weekend special. Being together for the weekend is no big deal. Don’ t make it special.  Don’t celebrate wins from the week!

Ok, you are half way there! You may not have “lost” your spouse yet, but you are beginning to feel distanced. Take the next five days to seal the deal!

Day 6 (Saturday)- Spend more money than you actually have. Buy a bunch of stuff you really don’t need and don’t really talk about it together.  This is sure to drive you and your spouse apart.

Day 7 (Sunday)- Don’t allow God in. If you are a husband, don’t be a spiritual leader. Don’t take your fam to church. Church is for sissies! Cruise baby. If you are a wife, don’t encourage, don’t pray, don’t be an example. Cruise.

Day 8 (Monday)- Disrespect. Don’t honor time commitments, don’t do little things that show your spouse than you honor them.

Day 9 (Tuesday)- Don’t think about it. Just let it go without praying or talking about it, maybe it will get better on its own. Don’t plan for meals together, a date, or time to talk about goals and dreams.

Day 10 (Wednesday)- Technology. Cell phone calls, movies, tv, facebook, iphones. Do whatever you can to be around your spouse, without really being all there.  Have an affair with technology.

Ok, there you go: How To Lose A Spouse in 10 Days!

I’m obviously being sarcastic about attempting to lose your spouse.  My intention isn’t to discourage or be negative.  Rather, the point it to show how quickly a relationship can dissolve.  Often, it doesn’t happen over 10 days, but over years and years.

Action Step: Make the decision today to honor your spouse!  Find one of the above items, then basically do the opposite this week.  Start with one area and focus on it for a week.  Then come back and hit another area.  Turn the idea into a concept that may save your marriage!

What is another way to lose your spouse in 10 days?  Please share in the comments… Want to hear more on relationships in the future? Subscribe to free email updates on the right side of the page…  Who do you know that needs to read this post?  I would love for you share it by Retweeting on Twitter or “liking” the post on FB, thanks- Chad

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include creativity, family, faith, culture, social media and leadership. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad

This MAN picture REALLY needs your caption…

Ready, set, CAPTIONS Below…

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, leadership and other stuff. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad