Caption Please??

You’ll probably want to wear this to your church Fall Festival (code name for Halloween Party)

Thoughts or captions? Let’s hear em!

New to TheWayItCouldBe.com? This is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include creativity, family, faith, culture, social media and leadership. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right.

Trust, but Verify.

A recent World Series incident reminds me of a key leadership lesson that many young leaders tend to forget. The incident I’m referring to is Game 5 of the 2011 MLB World Series, where St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa miscommunicated TWICE with the bullpen and inadvertently sent the wrong relieving pitchers in the game.

The Texas fans that evening were so loud that TWO different phone calls to the bullpen were misheard and next thing La Russa knew he had contributed to what he would later call one of the “weirdest moments in baseball history.”  USA Today said it was like La Russa called for Chinese takeout and the delivery man showed up with a large pepperoni pizza. Read about the story here and a follow up article here.

The incident brings to mind a common leadership snafu that I’ve seen countless young leaders experience, including yours truly. What happens is this: Leaders extend trust (good), but fail to verify that the trust should continue to be given (not so good). In other words, we as leaders give away responsibility, but fail to check in and make sure that things are being handled correctly, responsibly, etc.

The intent is great: Empower people. Give trust. Delegate. All good leadership practices. The downside is what happens next. Instead of following through and checking in, leaders make an assumption that things are going well without following up. Look at what La Russa said about the blunder in Game 5:

All I had to do was look out to the bullpen to make sure,” La Russa said, talking to a handful of news reporters outside his office after the Cardinals departed a voluntary workout.

All La Russa had to do was look up and he would have caught the blunders and avoided what may have contributed to the Cardinals loosing Game 5 to the Texas Rangers. The leadership lesson we are reminded of is as follows:  Trust, but Verify. Always verify.

Extend trust to those you lead, and help them and serve them by following up to make sure they are set up for success. Trusting without verifying is blind trust and is setting those you lead up for failure. To trust those you lead without verifying their follow through is leadership suicide. You will probably make it by for awhile, but eventually you will get burned and they will not grow as an individual or leader.

In real estate, I’ve seen well intended relationships go south due to a lack of accountability. In business, I’ve seen countless deals go bad because one or more parties did not follow through on the details. In families, I’ve seen marriages destroyed because there was no accountability. In the church world, I’ve seen people deeply hurt because a leader extended trust, but did not verify the results or follow through.

We are not talking about micro-managing. We are not speaking about looking over a subordinate’s shoulder every day as they work. What I am encouraging is for you to be wise and serve those you lead by following up and discussing expectations and follow through. Love them enough to be honest. Serve them by helping them grow and overcome blind spots. Set the bar high for your organization so that everyone knows that excellence (not perfection, but excellence) is expected from all. Trust, but Verify.

A big reason this is important is for the performance of your organization and the results that await. A bigger reason is for the development of those you lead so that they can truly become who they were created to be! Trust, but Verify.

New to TheWayItCouldBe.com? This is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include creativity, family, faith, culture, social media and leadership. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right.

Top Posts of 2010

Thanks for reading TheWayItCouldBe.com!  On vacation this week! Here were some of 2010′s top posts.  Enjoy & feel free to share!

Relationships
5 Things Every Wife Wants From Her Husband
70 Ways To Save Your Marriage Before It’s Too Late
50 Ways to Blow it As a Husband or Father
50 Things That Take Away Man Points
50 Things a Real Man Does/Is
10 Tips for Forgiving Your Father

Spirituality
10 Reasons You Should Not Read the Bible
7 Reasons I’ll Never Be a Super-Christian
Christians, Put On Your Big Girl Panties
7 Reasons You Should Rest Today
25 Ways to Become a Christian Atheist

Social Media
25 Things You Might Not Want to Post on Twitter
29 Ways to Know You Are Having a Love Affair With Twitter (or Facebook)
30 Things Twitter is….Not!
Taking the ME Out of Social MEdia
I’m Quitting Facebook!  Here’s Why
Twitter Loneliness

Culture
When Church & Culture Collide
49 Ways to Make Someone’s Day
7 Things Every Young Lady Should Know
Should Dudes Wear Sleeveless Shirts?
10 Ways You Can Fight Domestic Poverty

Leadership
7 Ways to Turn Online Influence into Offline Impact
5 Things You Must LOSE To GAIN Influence
Why Some Leaders Fail Well & Others Just Fail
Why Leadership Ain’t Always Sexy
Want to Lead? Prove It!

Church
25 Memories of Church As a Kid
20 Reasons the Church is Still Relevant
Ghetto or Suburban Church?
8 Ways to Use Social Media To Be a Better Church Leader
7 Ways to Know You’re Cheating on the Church

Random/Personal
88 Reasons We’ve Lived 8 Places in 8 Years
Welcome to the Missildine Home
Meet Molly Missildine
All I Want For Christmas

Subscribe to free email updates by entering in your email address out to the right of this post… Thanks for stopping by!

Steve Job as Leader & Legend

Wow, it is so hard to believe that Steve Jobs has passed away. What an amazing innovator, leader and entrepreneur!

From USA Today: SAN FRANCISCO — Steve Jobs, the innovative co-founder of Apple who transformed personal use of technology as well as entire industries with products such as the iPod, iPad, iPhone, Macintosh computer and the iTunes music store, has died.

The Apple chairman was 56.

The iconic American CEO, whose impact many have compared to auto magnate Henry Ford and Walt Disney— whom Jobs openly admired — abruptly stepped down from his position as CEO of Apple in August because of health concerns. He had been suffering from pancreatic cancer.

Google Chairman Eric Schmidt, a former Apple board member, called Jobs the best CEO of the past 50 years — perhaps 100 years.

A seminal business and technology leader, Jobs’ success flowed from a relentless focus on making products that were easy and intuitive for the average consumer to use. His products were characterized by groundbreaking design and style that, along with their technological usefulness, made them objects of intense desire by consumers around the world.

He was known as a demanding, mercurial boss and an almost mystical figure in technology circles as well as American popular culture. Author and business consultant Jim Collins once called Jobs the “Beethoven of business.”

Here is the rest of the article from USA Today: http://usat.ly/rgzMrP

Rest in peace Steve. In what ways has Steve’s life impacted our world forever?? Love to hear your thoughts.

Parenting, Unicorns & the Value of Money

20111003-093048.jpg

Our oldest daughter Meg is 4 now and getting to the age where she thinks she needs every shiny, pink, unicorned, candied, flashy, noise making, everything.

What is crazy is that we spend a lot of time with her serving, praying for others, talking about how life is not about things, reading the Bible and doing fun things that don’t require…well, things.

Nonetheless, she is 4. She is beautiful. And she does truly care about other people. Her heart is moldable. So we want to help mold it, especially when it comes to responsibility, the value of money and helping her shape the values she will carry into adulthood.

So I know a lot you are parents of youngins or have been parents of youngins at some point. We’d like to hear about your experience! How do you shape your kids’ view of money, of material things, of what is important in life? What tips do you have for parents of young kids who want to teach their kids financial responsibility? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Can Christians Stop Porn?

This is a pretty eye-opening article from CNN on the Church and Porn. Enjoy…

Atlanta (CNN) – He is a good Christian, Michael is telling his two therapists. He goes to church most Sundays. He’s a devoted husband and father of two daughters.

“But when I would leave on business trips,” he says, “I knew I was going to get to be someone else.”

“Prostitutes, porn – I took anything I wanted.”

Sitting on a comfortable, worn couch, Michael glances out the window and sees a reflection of himself set against the parking lot of this suburban Atlanta office building. He fidgets, runs his fingers over his closely cropped blond hair and straightens his green tennis polo. He clears his throat.

Above his head hangs a poster covered in words describing feelings – angry, anxious, sad. On it is a big yellow cross.

Therapists Richard Blankenship and Mark Richardson wear solemn but empathetic expressions. Certified counselors and Christian ministers, they tell him they know how to listen and nod for him to continue.

“I’ve had a record of purity since March when I confessed to my wife,” says Michael, whose name has been changed by CNN.com to protect his privacy. “No porn, no masturbation.”

“Awesome,” Richardson says, leaning forward in his chair. “God knows you’re trying.”

This is Michael’s second week at “Faithful and True – Atlanta” a 16-week counseling program that, like dozens of others like it around the country, combines traditional psychotherapy with the Bible in an attempt to treat addictive behavior.

Blankenship, a devout Christian who once struggled with sexual abuse, says his own ordeal has helped him to treat and “graduate” nearly 500 Christian men and women with similar addictions in the last five years.

He says he has helped people achieve what he calls “sobriety,” which means resisting porn and lustful thoughts.

Though controversial in secular circles, much of the evangelical Christian world has been cheering this relatively new kind of therapy. Many believers, including many Christian leaders, consider it a powerful tool for fighting what they say is one of the modern church’s biggest problems: porn addiction.

A crusade is born

Not long ago, it was unheard of for a pastor to talk about sex from the pulpit.

Today, clergy are talking about porn.

Many evangelical pastors say they don’t have a choice. The Internet has made porn unavoidable; it’s everywhere. And porn, they say, leads to a lack of intimacy in marriage, threatening the biblical mandate to get and stay married.

In the past few years, Christian leaders have established online ministries to tackle the problem, hosting anti-porn podcast sermons and Web chats. The popular evangelical blog Crosswalk.com recently ran an article headlined “How many porn addicts are in your church?”

Christian publishers, meanwhile, have produced a wave of recent books on the subject, including popular titles like “Porn-Again Christian,” “Secret Sexual Sins: Understanding a Christian’s Desire for Pornography” and “Eyes of Integrity: The Porn Pandemic and How It Affects You.”

Evangelical pastor Jeremy Gyorke recently came forward to talk about how porn has affected him. In July, the 32-year-old confessed his porn addiction in a sermon at Wyandotte Family Church, just outside Detroit.

“I’m part of a generation of Christians who grew up keeping your mouth shut about your personal life,” he says. “Goodness no, we didn’t talk about sex.”

Read the rest of the CNN Post HERE.

Do you think the Church can stop porn? Love to hear your thoughts!