Your heart or life ever feel like this??

Train me, God, to walk straight: then I’ll follow your true path. Put me together, one heart & mind; then, undivided, I’ll worship in joyful fear. Psalm 86:11

Ever feel like this? Why or why not?

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, social media and leadership. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad

Rewind: I am a young leader and a young Twitter user, but I’ve learned a ton about what Twitter can do to gelp you grow as a leader. Combined with intentionality and a commitment to personal growth, Twitter can serve as a major growth vehicle for leaders. Here are 8 Ways Twitter Helps You Grow As a Leader:

1. Brevity gives way to intention. 140 characters or less force you to think about what you want to say. Twitter teaches the leader to think before speaking.

2. Clarifying values. You are forced to truly identify what you hold valuable as a leader. Is it authenticity, strength, innovation, creativity? What values do you hold to as a leader? These are sure to influence what you talk about with the rest of the world.

3. Not just words. Words represent so much more than just the letters that comprise them. They point towards ideas and thoughts. They offer a glance deep into the heart. Twitter posts give insight into the leader’s heart and soul.

4. Modeling leadership. Most people in my organization maybe spend a couple of minutes of face time with me on a monthly basis. Twitter allows me to model how (and sometimes how not) to be a leader throughout each hour of each day!

5. Leaders must seize opportunities. The largest investment firms in the world frequently make enormous purchases in a matter of hours or sometimes minutes. They have to know what they are looking for and when to jump on opportunities. Twitter allows leaders to share key thoughts, experiences or insights in real time, seizing the opportunities life presents and immediately sharing them with the world.

6. Expansion of influence. Twitter obviously allows a leader to expand their influence outside of what spaces and places would normally allow.

7. Following other key leaders. I have several mentors that I follow on Twitter that barely even know I exist. Twitter gives me insight into their lives, thoughts and plans, so that I can learn from the best!

8. Building trust. Twitter allows leaders to build trust with followers through consistency and vulnerability. Leaders are seen as real people with real lives. Trust is built through consistent interaction with other followers and openness to the Twitter world!

What other ways does Twitter help leaders grow? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! Dig TheWayItCouldBe.com? Subscribe for email updates at the top of the page. Thanks for stopping by!

This is a post I recently wrote for BigIsTheNewSmall.com. It spread pretty far around the Internet and was even retweeted by 200,000 follower @TweetSmarter on Twitter. Hope you enjoy!

Many of us love Twitter and/or Facebook. But how do we know if we are having a love affair? Well, today is your lucky day! Here are 29 Signs You’re Having A Love Affair with Twitter and/or Faceboook. Enjoy and have fun!

1. You link out to your weblogs on Facebook all day and they each last longer than Lebron James’ one hour contract announcement.

2. You get home late from work at night. For the rest of the family, its dinner time. Not for you baby. It’s secret Twitter and/or Facebook or time!

3. You sit down to grub, update your status. Above the table? Please. That’s for rookies!

4. You update under the table with phone in pocket (like your Tweenager). “Pass the gravy Honey.”

5. Your post is so good, you comment on it yourself (all from secret pocket), “4 Real & True Dat!”

6. “Excuse me spouse, excuse me child, I will be in my study,” you murmur.

7. You sneak off early from dinner for a little S.S.U.D (Secret Status Update Dessert)!

8. You open up your laptop, log online & click on a hidden iTunes folder, entitled, “S.J.F.M. (Something…Just For Me).”

9. Soft Jazz starts to play. It’s Miles Davis. Oh yeah. It’s time…time for some Secret Social Media!

10. You put on your fingerless workout gloves. For working out? No way, for typing silly!

11. You login. With your name? No sir, that’s too easy.

12. Your Twitter name is: @TheReal(insert your name), but you aren’t famous.

13. You hear footsteps down the hall and you slap that laptop shut. Ah snap. Time for bed.

14. You lay down at night and look up. Your FB profile pic is on a poster on the ceiling over your bed. You. Are. The. Man. “Good night hot stuff, ” you whisper. She thinks you’re talking to her.

15. Your lady asks you if she looks fat in her new profile pic and you say under your breath, “Well, Twitter does add 20 pounds.” She doesn’t hear it.

16. She then dims the lights to make her move. You make yours, right of the room and to your phone.

17. She follows you out of the room and starts talking. You’re not listening and you say, “Uh huh.”

18. She busts you for not listening and asks, “You want to sleep on the couch??” You respond, “Yeah….uh huh…yeah.”

19. You wake up that night on the couch (you got your wish) to check for comments. None, Dang.

20. When your wife walks in the next morning you say, “Baby, I’m logged out right now. Can we chat later?”

21. Kids want to play? Too bad. Headphones are in. “Daddy, put your computer down, pwease.” Wha?? You ignore.

22. Time to get dressed. You wear girl’s jeans(but you’re a dude). Oh wait. That just means you’re confused not that you are having an affair with Twitter and/or Facebook, my bad!

23. You throw on a locket with a picture of you, your laptop, and a sunset in the back ground. You look good. Real good.

24. You head out for the day without brushing your teeth. Why? Man, that’s 5 extra minutes of social media time! That’s like 2.5 posts!

25. You are on the way to work. You can drive, update your status, sing and juggle all at the same time. And all while knitting a sweater and avoiding your family!

26. You see the reflection of your new Miami Heat jersey off the window with your number of Twitter followers on the back. There are two words written at the top…

27. Big.

28. Time.

29. Okay , It’s Time Big Time(yeah you, ha). Time for you to add to the list! You know you may be having an affair with Twitter or Facebook when…. Ready, set, go (we’d love to hear your thoughts below in the comments)!

TheWayItCouldBe.com is a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include creativity, family, faith, culture, social media and leadership. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. – Chad

There is a single question that will impact any marriage and open up a door to not only a closer relationship, but also a deeper sense of trust and understanding. I have asked this question on multiple occasions and it has always led to helpful conversation and a better relationship.

Ground rules: This question must be asked with a spirit of humility, a willingness to listen. The one who asks the question has to commit to not being defensive upon hearing the answer. The question needs to be asked from one spouse to another in a place and setting where there is plenty of time for a response. The one asking the question must ask for as honest of a response as possible from their spouse.

The question is this: What are one or two areas where I can better meet your needs in our marriage?

That’s it. Sounds too simple to work, right? Wrong. It works and can open up a door to a whole new level of connectedness in your marriage. It works of course as long as both parties are willing to listen and make some sort of active response. The question basically asks, “How can I serve you?”

Here is why it works:

1. It implies a love and commitment to the other person. Most of us start a conversation focused on our own needs, not the needs of our spouse. This question immediately places the focus on the other spouse.

2. It might take them by surprise. Seriously, when is the last time you asked your spouse a question like this? The simple fact that you are asking may throw them off enough to open up a great conversation.

3. The question acknowledges the principle of reciprocity (sorry, can’t remember the source of this term). The principle of reciprocity basically says, “I’ll meet your needs, you can meet mine, and both our needs will be met.”

4. The reason this question works is because it will bring out tangible needs from the other spouse that you can immediately begin to work on. Some needs will be feasible (ex. “I really need you to start picking up your stuff. I am your wife, not your mommy”) Other needs may be unrealistic, so you can talk about them right there (ex. “I need you to make me feel better about myself.”) This example could be an area that could be unrealistic for any spouse to meet. An answer such as this one could help surface unrealistic expectations that one spouse may have for another.

Ok, now brace yourself. You may not be ready for the response to this question. If your spouse tells you that they need more of an emotional connection, you better be prepared to let your guard down and make the connection. Or if your spouse tells you they need more quality time together, you need to be prepared to make room for that quality time. If you aren’t ready and willing to work on meeting their needs, you could easily set your spouse up for a let down.

Now, go for it and ask away! Let us know how it goes and if you have questions along the way!

Have you ever asked a question like this? How did it go and what tips do you have for the rest of us who are striving for a marriage that is set apart from the masses?

Sometimes I don’t care about people. Not all the time, just sometimes. When I am tired, busy, preoccupied with something. Most of the time I care, but it is easy to drift into not caring. It is easier to not care at all. I thought through my day and thought about all the people that I ran into that obviously didn’t care about people either. One lady gave me a dirty look in traffic. A man yelled at someone in a store. Needs in the community go unmet. I thought about how sometimes people just don’t care. You can likely add to the list, but here are a 3 Reasons You Just Don’t Care:

Deep down, we are often our own gods. By that I don’t mean that we make images of ourselves or anything like that. What I mean is that when you are your own god, your desires and feeding those desires becomes the most important thing, more important than the needs of others or anything else. Me. Happy. Number 1. Everything else. Number 2.

We are trying to fill a spiritual & relational gap with stuff. Stuff leaves you empty. Period. Stuff breaks, goes out of style and loses value the minute you drive it off the lot. Stuff is what media convinces you that you need to fill the void in your life. The stuff is cool and all, but to believe that it will fill a spiritual or relational gap in your life is simply believing an all out lie. Stuff sort of ties into the first reason and usually has to do with trying to please self.

We are so deep in debt we don’t have time to care. When we are laden in debt up to our eyeballs, we have to serve that debt like a slave. Even if you don’t believe in the Bible, you have to respect all the parts about being a good steward of money and not going into debt. There is a lot in there about avoiding debt. Debt is certainly tied to stuff and both are connected to trying to make ourselves happy at any cost, even if it means neglecting the needs of others around us. Being in debt lends itself (not pun intended) to being so busy with work that don’t have time to care.

Another reason that I think we don’t care about people is that we think it is someone else’s job or responsibility. The government’s job. I wonder if our government wouldn’t be in so much financial trouble if this was not the case for many of us. Their family’s job. Their problem, not mine.

Ok, now it is your turn. Why do we not care about people? Do you often fit into this category? Why or why not?

I have known a lot of single folks in my days. Heck, I was single myself for 2/3 of my life before I married a million miles over my head. I know both the freedoms and the challenges that come with being single, especially for those who are looking for a spouse and a Biblical marriage. I’ve seen single people make all kinds of serious mistakes that are difficult to overcome later in life. Of all the different types of bad decisions and mindsets that I have both seen and held in the past, the single greatest mistake a single person can make is this:

Discontentment.

By that I mean not being content or satisfied with where you are in life. I’m not saying that we should not aspire to be married someday or should not desire to have a family. All that is good and the Bible even says that it is good for us to be married. I’m also not saying we should not aspire for more or be ambitious. Those are good things too, as long as we have proper perspective.

What I am saying is that we should try to learn to be content or good with what we have be given at the moment. The discontentment I am speaking of is demonstrated this type of statement: I will only be happy if _______. Fill in the blank. I will only be content if…I have a significant other. I will only be happy if…I get that job. I will only be fulfilled if…I can get the bigger house in the nicer neighborhood.

Discontentment places conditions on God and what he has given us. It basically says, “God I don’t care about submitting to your timing, I want it now and I will not take “no” for an answer.” This is a dangerous attitude that can lead to disappointment, bitterness and eventually a very shallow faith. This type of faith sets oneself up as the authority, not God.

Some say the first sin in the Bible is discontentment. When Adam and Eve have an amazing paradise, it is simply not enough. They were not content. They wanted more and were led to jump into the only place they’d been asked not to go. The result can be seen today as man is often following suit.

Look around it does not take long to find examples of radical discontentment. Church leaders are not content unless their church looks a certain way or reaches a certain level of influence. Husbands and wives are not content unless their spouse meets a certain level of performance that no normal person could ever live up to. Employees are not content unless they make this certain level of pay or reach this particular promotion.

The reason that discontentment is the biggest mistake single people make is this: when we say that we won’t be happy or content until we find a spouse or until we get married, we are setting ourselves up for major disappointment. We place the state of our well-being in the hands of another person, who is feeble and imperfect, just as we are. This leads to a multitude of issues including unrealistic expectations that a future spouse could never, ever live up to. Think about it. If your happiness depends on whether or not you are married to an amazing husband or wife, that places a heck of a lot of pressure on that future husband or wife. With this mindset, you are basically asking them to fulfill your life. When they are there, then you will be content.

This is so unfair to them on so many levels, and this is the reason a lot of marriages don’t make it. One or both spouses were looking for the other to fill a void in their lives that they could never realistically fill. It is impossible (Here is why)! No person can fill that void. Not only is this mindset unfair to that future spouse, it places conditions on God. In a way it says, “God, I know you are all-knowing and know what is best for me, but let me fill you in anyway. I need this, and if I don’t get this right now, things aren’t going to work out so well for us.” It is absolute insanity.

So do yourself a favor and learn to be content, wherever you are in life. Keep praying for God to help you take the next step and keep believing that he has BIG things in store for your life. Be content. Do what you can to change things. Don’t worry about what you cannot change. Contentment: It is something none of us are good at and all of us can learn.

Several ideas from this post were from a message titled “Learning Contentment” from Village Church. Check it out on ITunes to dig in deeper!

Why is this so difficult as a single person? Why is contentment so difficult for all of us? Love to hear your thoughts! If you enjoyed this post, I’d also love for you to share it with any single people you know, you never know who you may impact!

Welcome to TheWayItCouldBe.com, a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, culture, social media and leadership. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. Thanks for visiting – Chad

Not everyone grew up in church. I did. Literally in church! If the doors were open, we were there. My parents were very involved and I logged a ton of kid hours at our church building. Some hours were spent paying attention. Many were spent getting into trouble!  Here are 25 Memories of Church As a Kid:

1. Paper airplane bulletins. Man, I was simply trying to send those prayer requests as high up as I could get them!
2. Singing Old Rugged Cross and learning how to harmonize.
3. Spending time with other families on Sunday night eating, singing praying and sharing lives with one another.
4. Not ever knowing what the “Triopoly of God” was when we sang about it. Still not sure…
5. The best Wall Ball outside with a tennis ball. Did you ever play Wall Ball? I bet I can take you.
6. Punishment for dropping the ball in Wall Ball was the “Firing Squad.” God believed in “justice” and so did we!
7. Skipping out on Sunday school to go to the donut shop. Shhhh….
8. Sneaking into the kitchen and drinking communion cups and eating crackers. I did a lot of remembering as a kid!
9. Averaging 15 minutes late to anything and everything. It’s just the way we rolled.
10. Knowing I was loved by God despite all my imperfection.
11. Knowing I was loved by an entire church full of people, even though some were a little “different” like me!
12. Lunch with my grandmother every Sunday afternoon.
13. Chicken fried steak for lunch after church.
14. Fried chicken for lunch.
15. Fried okra with the fried chicken. You name it, we fried it!
16. I never could pay attention, but somehow I learned a lot through the years about who God really is as revealed in the Scriptures and through others.
17. Combined with a drawing pencil, offering envelopes make good cartoon flipbooks.
18. Sour candy in a shiny can may be mistaken as snuff (smokeless tobacco) by the elders’ wives.
19. Spankings were not off limits, and I pushed the limits!
20. Worship music playing in my house on Sunday mornings before church.
21. Fitting the whole youth group on our trampoline and busting a few springs!
22. Hide and seek in the church with all the lights off. We were just trying to be spiritual.
23. Looking up to the teenagers when I was a kid. There were a bunch of good role models in my church.
24. Looking up to the older men in my church. There were a ton of good role models at that age too.
25. Suddenly coming up with an illness Sunday morning. Somehow the diagnosis was rarely severe enough to miss going to church!

And one bonus memory: Seersucker pants on Easter! I was the real sucker for wearing them. Mom I still love you!

What memory do you have of church as a kid? Please share in the comments. We would love to hear!

Welcome to TheWayItCouldBe.com, a site promoting cultural impact through personal and spiritual transformation. Post topics include family, faith, culture, social media and leadership. Feel free to browse around by category. If you dig the site, you can subscribe for free email updates by simply entering your email address in the sidebar out to the right. Thanks for visiting – Chad

Um, this picture needs your caption. This was my costume for the 2011 Big Show at LifeChurch.tv FTW. I actually wore this in front of all the LC.tv Fort Worth volunteers. Ready, set, captions away!

Don’t just me. Ha. Ha.

I must _______. <<< What goes here?
What word or phrase?
What must you do?
What burns deep inside?
What is your burden that you must do something about?

I must _______. <<< What goes here?
What have you been well positioned to do?
Who are you called to be?
Where have you been uniquely placed for impacting someone or something?
What must you do?

Because _________. <<< What goes here?
Why must you do whatever it is you must do?
Why is it important?
Why will it make a difference?
Who will it impact?
What will be different one year later as a result?
10 years later?
50 years?

So my next step is to __________. <<< What goes here?
What is your next step?
What should it be?
What will move the ball down the court?
What will get you from HERE to THERE?

and _________ can help me. <<< Who goes here?
Who can hold you accountable?
Who can help you accomplish your dream?
Who can serve as support?
Who will you tell about what you must do today?

I must __________ (ex. write) because _________ (ex. I have a story to tell that will help others). My next step is __________ (ex. Write a book proposal) and ________ can help me (ex. Michael Hyatt at his blog Michaelhyatt.com).

Ok, your turn. Complete this sentence. Share it below if you can!

I must ______ because __________. My next step is to ________ and __________ can help me.

One shot. You have ONE Shot to win them over. You have ONE shot with new customers in your business, guests in your church or or potential clients that you may be able to serve. ONE shot. If you are lucky or they are forgiving, maybe you have another one. Judgement comes quickly in a world with so much competition. In the church world, some will argue that a guest decides in the first 7 SECONDS out of their car whether or not they will return to that church. ONE shot.

I know our readers would love to hear your take on the importance of first impressions and excellence in the marketplace or even in the church world. Should these things be a big deal? Why or why not?