This is a post I recently wrote for BigIsTheNewSmall.com. It spread pretty far around the Internet and was even retweeted by 200,000 follower @TweetSmarter on Twitter. Hope you enjoy!
Many of us love Twitter and/or Facebook. But how do we know if we are having a love affair? Well, today is your lucky day! Here are 29 Signs You’re Having A Love Affair with Twitter and/or Faceboook. Enjoy and have fun!
1. You link out to your weblogs on Facebook all day and they each last longer than Lebron James’ one hour contract announcement.
2. You get home late from work at night. For the rest of the family, its dinner time. Not for you baby. It’s secret Twitter and/or Facebook or time!
3. You sit down to grub, update your status. Above the table? Please. That’s for rookies!
4. You update under the table with phone in pocket (like your Tweenager). “Pass the gravy Honey.”
5. Your post is so good, you comment on it yourself (all from secret pocket), “4 Real & True Dat!”
6. “Excuse me spouse, excuse me child, I will be in my study,” you murmur.
7. You sneak off early from dinner for a little S.S.U.D (Secret Status Update Dessert)!
8. You open up your laptop, log online & click on a hidden iTunes folder, entitled, “S.J.F.M. (Something…Just For Me).”
9. Soft Jazz starts to play. It’s Miles Davis. Oh yeah. It’s time…time for some Secret Social Media!
10. You put on your fingerless workout gloves. For working out? No way, for typing silly!
11. You login. With your name? No sir, that’s too easy.
12. Your Twitter name is: @TheReal(insert your name), but you aren’t famous.
13. You hear footsteps down the hall and you slap that laptop shut. Ah snap. Time for bed.
14. You lay down at night and look up. Your FB profile pic is on a poster on the ceiling over your bed. You. Are. The. Man. “Good night hot stuff, ” you whisper. She thinks you’re talking to her.
15. Your lady asks you if she looks fat in her new profile pic and you say under your breath, “Well, Twitter does add 20 pounds.” She doesn’t hear it.
16. She then dims the lights to make her move. You make yours, right of the room and to your phone.
17. She follows you out of the room and starts talking. You’re not listening and you say, “Uh huh.”
18. She busts you for not listening and asks, “You want to sleep on the couch??” You respond, “Yeah….uh huh…yeah.”
19. You wake up that night on the couch (you got your wish) to check for comments. None, Dang.
20. When your wife walks in the next morning you say, “Baby, I’m logged out right now. Can we chat later?”
21. Kids want to play? Too bad. Headphones are in. “Daddy, put your computer down, pwease.” Wha?? You ignore.
22. Time to get dressed. You wear girl’s jeans(but you’re a dude). Oh wait. That just means you’re confused not that you are having an affair with Twitter and/or Facebook, my bad!
23. You throw on a locket with a picture of you, your laptop, and a sunset in the back ground. You look good. Real good.
24. You head out for the day without brushing your teeth. Why? Man, that’s 5 extra minutes of social media time! That’s like 2.5 posts!
25. You are on the way to work. You can drive, update your status, sing and juggle all at the same time. And all while knitting a sweater and avoiding your family!
26. You see the reflection of your new Miami Heat jersey off the window with your number of Twitter followers on the back. There are two words written at the top…
29. Okay , It’s Time Big Time(yeah you, ha). Time for you to add to the list! You know you may be having an affair with Twitter or Facebook when…. Ready, set, go (we’d love to hear your thoughts below in the comments)!
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