3 Common Marriage Mess Ups
Face it, you, if you are married, (and I) have and will always have an imperfect marriage. It will never be without blunder. Wow, doesn’t that take the pressure off?? Now that we’ve agreed on that truth, let’s talk about 3 Common Marriage Mess-ups and then discuss what you can do with each mess up to have an awesome marriage!
Marriage Mess Up #1- We all have shortcomings. You are imperfect, just like everyone else. Therefore, your marriage will never be perfect. Embrace this early on and you will learn how to thrive in your state of imperfection! Ignore this truth and you will set yourself up for
disappointment at some point down the road.
What to do about it. Openness and honesty- counterbalance your imperfections by being humble, open and honest. Admit when you have wronged one another and seek forgiveness. You probably already know this and are likely tempted to read over this one, but I’d like to encourage you to stop and think about it. Do you really admit when you’ve made a mistake? Have you truly asked for forgiveness?
Marriage Mess Up #2- Misunderstanding. One or more of you likely isn’t a great listener by nature. And one or more of you may have a tough time opening us and communicating needs and desires to the other. Both of these realities, combined with the vast differences between men and women, can set the stage for a sea of misunderstanding in your marriage. Assumptions go unchecked and hurts can build up over time.
What to do about it. Patience and thoughtful words. And becoming a great listener. This one will not be easy. This one is going to take a lot of hard work. You’ve got to learn how to listen. You’ve got to get good at it. Marriage requires putting your agenda aside and serving your spouse by listening. It calls for a constant renewing of the mind, so that your words are thoughtful, intentional and kind. You can do this! Learn to be a great listener, to be patient and to use thoughtful words.
Marriage Mess Up #3- Everyday-ness. Marriage is special. Your spouse is unique. Then comes life. Life lulls you into sleep. It makes the special things seem normal. Everyday-ness happens to your marriage. You take things for granted. Life happens. You look up and your marriage can be….blah. This happens.
What to do about it. Creating special moments. I’m not saying marriage is always a honeymoon or a fairytale or Christmas morning 365 days a year. Nonetheless, it is special! So….make it special. Create special moments, family traditions. Honor your spouse with little things and big things. Serve someone outside of your family and remind yourselves of this: life is not all about what happens inside the walls of your home, but more often what happens when you step off your front porch. Make your marriage special, because it is special!
What other common marriage mess-ups do you see and what can we do about it? Which of these do you relate with and what can you do today about it?